Well March Break has passed and we are on our last days of sleeping in and hanging out just the three of us....
I want you both to know that I have enjoyed our break so much that I feel for the first time that I was a full time stay at home Mommy for you both. On my own with out having to rely on anyone. I did it on my own and we had fun. We did lots and hung out with friends and you were able to see your friends and do things for once without me holding you back. I don't ever want to hold you back again. Mommy will always be worried that this Cancer will come back and that is something I have to deal with. I don't want the burden you anymore. Jackson when I layed on the bed with you and asked if you felt lighter like some of the worry was gone and you were able to express to me that you felt llighter that was truly the best feeling for me because I know you have felt this silent responsibility to look after me, help me up when I can't get up and help me breathe when I have lost my breathe and I am so gla that I had both of you to help me when no one else was here to help but your so young and I just want you to be able to be kids again.
This summer you have been given some more freedom that you have never had beofore and yes you do have to be responsible for your brother but that is a normal " BIG" brother thing you have to do. Atleast you can go and have your friends over and know that Mommy is upstairs because she is watching one of her shows not because I can't get up or walk because I can. I am getting better and better. I have been back at the gym I have been looking at ways to get better from the inside out. I don't want you to worry about me anymore.
There are so many good things that have come out of me being home. If you look really hard you can see the silver linning that we the Keaney's have. We are closer as a family unit, Mommy is home and takes you to school and picks you up and is there when you are sick, you don't have to be baby-sat anymore and be away from me every weekend.....I have always wanted to be a Mommy and you are my life boys and I owe you my life thank you for helping me stay alive...
Mommy
I want you both to know that I have enjoyed our break so much that I feel for the first time that I was a full time stay at home Mommy for you both. On my own with out having to rely on anyone. I did it on my own and we had fun. We did lots and hung out with friends and you were able to see your friends and do things for once without me holding you back. I don't ever want to hold you back again. Mommy will always be worried that this Cancer will come back and that is something I have to deal with. I don't want the burden you anymore. Jackson when I layed on the bed with you and asked if you felt lighter like some of the worry was gone and you were able to express to me that you felt llighter that was truly the best feeling for me because I know you have felt this silent responsibility to look after me, help me up when I can't get up and help me breathe when I have lost my breathe and I am so gla that I had both of you to help me when no one else was here to help but your so young and I just want you to be able to be kids again.
This summer you have been given some more freedom that you have never had beofore and yes you do have to be responsible for your brother but that is a normal " BIG" brother thing you have to do. Atleast you can go and have your friends over and know that Mommy is upstairs because she is watching one of her shows not because I can't get up or walk because I can. I am getting better and better. I have been back at the gym I have been looking at ways to get better from the inside out. I don't want you to worry about me anymore.
There are so many good things that have come out of me being home. If you look really hard you can see the silver linning that we the Keaney's have. We are closer as a family unit, Mommy is home and takes you to school and picks you up and is there when you are sick, you don't have to be baby-sat anymore and be away from me every weekend.....I have always wanted to be a Mommy and you are my life boys and I owe you my life thank you for helping me stay alive...
Mommy
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