Well boys spring is almost over and summer will soon be here. Griffin you have spring fever and you have proved that by being a little over zelous on the school bus on Thursday when we went on our very first school trip together and you were in the back being dared by someone you so wanted to be friends with and he dared you to kiss the little girl on the seat with you... Needless to say Mrs Mackey didn't approve and I was at the front of the bus and had no idea. I love you boys to death because one of your best qualities is that you are so different then eachother. I was very cross Griffin but once I slept on it and woke up the next morning I did realize we will look back and read this and laugh.. My little stud muffin. You have loved Girls since forever. Not to be friends with or play with other then the Thornes but you have had a girlfiend Daisy for a whole year and she doesn't speak to you. You and her have your own language. You are a gentleman when you see her for the whole school year you have helped her put on her shoes and coat and all she does is poke you or just stand there until you notice her and then you ask her if she needs help and she puts out her foot. Very sweet and I know she means alot to you.

Right now the 2 of you are just thrilled because Daddy went and bought you your first and I know not last dirt bike. I have yet to see you in person but Jackson you did some awesome video taping for MOmmy so she could see. And Daddy took some pictures. It blows my mind that the 2 of you can just pick up a ball and be a basket ball player, you decide you want your training wheels off and all of a sudden I am on the phone and you come driving down the driveway on 2 wheels. Is like your both natural athletes. You both have a gift and that is that no matter what you try you are good at. It is a great gift as long as it is monitored because it can also be your worst enemy. But while you are young Mommy and Daddy have to watch it and guide you in a way that is challenging for you but not let you start and stop things like crazy because something looks better than what you are doing.

You are also both proving to be very smart. I am so proud of you for how hard you try and the sucess you have on your repot cards. I think the difference is Jackson has to try hard and is a very organized and self motivated while it just comes to Griffin he tends not to have to try as hard but he doesn't have Jackson's motivation he wants to sail through which will be our challenge. But I think you will both be great students and bring home good grades. I already just so proud to be your Mom even if it at sometimes is a challenge it is worth every challenge you bring me. I love watching the 2 of you in the things that you do. It facinates me how your so creative at such a young age. Griifn has been given the drawing bug and will sit for hours and draw and his drawings are amazing for a SK student it brings Mrs Mackey to tears sometimes Grifin you impress her so much. You are able to sound out the words and the drawings to go with the story are amazing. Jackson you are my dreamer. You are so much like Daddy that way. It is a good thing a great thing that you have an amazing imagination. You love to draw as well as your But you make creations. You come up with cool and different Monster Trucks and you make plays for Football in the sping when you and your friends play. You have all the plays worked out and drawn so everyone can see. You lay in bed and think of ways you and Jacob can make money for the summer, you are a creator and ly have the greatest imagineation I love talking to you when you are in the middle of a creation. You are so excited and passionate about it. It inspires me to want to do something more with my life and you are only 9 what are you going to be like in your teens...

I guess that this blog is about what you are now and giving me something to look back at and see where you have gone and what you have done with all of your gifts that God has given you. I love you both so much you are such amazing boys to have in my life I am so blessed. You are both so loving and caring toward eachother and are able to play together for hours at a time without too many fights but even when you fight you fight fair and you fight for a minute and it is over. You are so affectionate towrads eachother and you tell eachother how much you love eachother and I know when you think that I am not looking I see the two of you haveing snuggle time and it makes me proud that you are such good friends because you need eachother you need to have eachother's back and you need to lean on eachother as time goes on and things happen that you aren't ready to share with Mommy and Daddy you always have eachother.


I love you so muc for the individuals you are and I love you both for the loving brothers you are. don't ever let anyone or anything come between you. Nothing is more important than eachother...

Mommy MAY 1,2009

Friends

I am not sure but I want to talk to you about the importance of being a good friend and surrounding yourself with good friends. jackson when you were a baby one of the most important people in your life. She was 2 feet tall and still in diapers and was wearing a little peach dress. It was so hard to take you to daycare the first 2 weeks bacause it was the first time someone was going to look after you other than family. I was really scared and you cried so hard when I had to go it broke my heart. Little did I know that there was a cute little girl walking over to you everytime you cried and she wrapped her tiny litte arms around you and she would hold on until you cried. Your teacher Vickie was so overwhelmed because she had never seen anything like it she would tear up. I think the funniest thing about this story is that something we didn't realize was that they would later become our very best friends for the rest of our lives all because of that moment. They will come to be "The Benders" We cherish them for all they bring us and all we bring to them it is a special deep friendship that is unconditional, meaningful, deep friendship who I think you will model all friends from here on in after and that you will always hold everyone including girl freinds to the standard of Emily. She is honest, kind, empathetic, and totally what a friend should be and you are so blessed to have been shown that so early in your life.

Kim has sat at the foot of my bed for 3 years since I was diagnosed with Cancer and cheered me on, been there for me even at 6am in the morning and without judgement or question. Duane is the same to Dad a bond that will never be broken and Griffin and Meaghan are growing up to be as close as the rest of us. It is so lucky that we have found them and we cherish every moment we have with them.

Your Mommy has been very blessed in her life. I hav e great friends. I have all of my friends that I have been re-aquanted with when I got sick. Tina and Vickie came out as soon as they could to spend a weekend here. Auntie Karen who is Jackson's God Mother came out twice just to see us and then when I got sick she ran to my side. Auntie Kelly who I was just blessed to spend the weekend with in Niagra Falls loves you boys so much and misses you so much because she lives so far away. She stays very close with the phone and email and is taking care of her own Mommy who I really hope you get to meet one day because she is such an amazing person and is fighting so hard to stay alive with her own battle with Cancer. She was diagnosed a year after Mommy. She is doing Chemo right now and has lost all of her hair everywhere but is fighting so hard. She has been a HUGE part of Mommy's life. She is like a 2nd Mom to me. She is always there for me to call or write to when I feel like I can't talk to anyone and I am blessed to have her in my life. Auntie kelly and Auntie Karen are forever friends we have been friends for 25 years or more it is quite amazing. Then there is Gita. We had a friendship like no other. Tighter than best friends and more like family. We lived togoether for years off and on and when push came to shove her and I felt like it was her and I against the world and you know what for awhile it was! But sometimes in life you have falling outs with people and we wasted 12 years being mad about something that neither one of us could tell you why now but when you really need someone who was improtant to you you will know they true were true friends because they always come back when you need them. Then there is Sam. You don't know much about Sam and the MacElroys but you may need to call on them in your life and in a second they will be ther for you don't you worry. Sam has been in my lifee in my for as long as I can remember and she still is a staple in my life so I hope you get to meet her one day too.


What I am trying to explain to you is sometimes your family is preoccupied or sick or you feel like you can't go to them well if you think about it and go through my phone book you will see so many people we are surrounded by and hold out your arms and feel the love that surrounds us...

I love you Boys and I love all of my friends and family we are very Blessed!

The ties that bind....

Well March Break has passed and we are on our last days of sleeping in and hanging out just the three of us....

I want you both to know that I have enjoyed our break so much that I feel for the first time that I was a full time stay at home Mommy for you both. On my own with out having to rely on anyone. I did it on my own and we had fun. We did lots and hung out with friends and you were able to see your friends and do things for once without me holding you back. I don't ever want to hold you back again. Mommy will always be worried that this Cancer will come back and that is something I have to deal with. I don't want the burden you anymore. Jackson when I layed on the bed with you and asked if you felt lighter like some of the worry was gone and you were able to express to me that you felt llighter that was truly the best feeling for me because I know you have felt this silent responsibility to look after me, help me up when I can't get up and help me breathe when I have lost my breathe and I am so gla that I had both of you to help me when no one else was here to help but your so young and I just want you to be able to be kids again.

This summer you have been given some more freedom that you have never had beofore and yes you do have to be responsible for your brother but that is a normal " BIG" brother thing you have to do. Atleast you can go and have your friends over and know that Mommy is upstairs because she is watching one of her shows not because I can't get up or walk because I can. I am getting better and better. I have been back at the gym I have been looking at ways to get better from the inside out. I don't want you to worry about me anymore.

There are so many good things that have come out of me being home. If you look really hard you can see the silver linning that we the Keaney's have. We are closer as a family unit, Mommy is home and takes you to school and picks you up and is there when you are sick, you don't have to be baby-sat anymore and be away from me every weekend.....I have always wanted to be a Mommy and you are my life boys and I owe you my life thank you for helping me stay alive...

Mommy

My Baby is 6....

In honor of you my little buddy I decided to use your favoroite color of your innocent age of 6. I look at every holiday since having Cancer as a milestone. Every holiday ever Birthday I am here is a miricle and I just want you to know that this one held a special meaning for all of us as well. This was the first time in 3 of your innocent birthday's that I haven't either been in the hospital, going into surgery, or coming out of surgery. I remember for your 4th birthday I felt so terrible for you how could you possibly understand at your tender age why Mommy wans't going to be with you for your special day? I jus thought you would never forgive me or you would be so confused and scared without Mommy or Dady by your side....

Thanks to my best friend and Jackson's God Mother and your Mother Auntie Karen flew all the way out here from Vernon B.C. so that she could be here for you to comfort you when you cried for me and when you asked that queston that we all knew that you would ask "where is my Mommy?" She wanted to be here to answer that question and hold you while you cried and she had to tell you that Mommy was having another surgery and she would be home as soon as she could get home but she was thinking about you and is there for you in your heart all day.... You did what we all thought you cried... and you looked up at Auntie Karen and said " I am scared but I will be brave.." Now from what I understand it took all the strength your Auntie Karen had not to just take you in her arms and hold you until it was all over. But she did what she came here to do and she hugged you and told you it would be ok and she asked if you wanted to go to MacDonald's with Aunt Nessy and your best friend Tyler and of cource your answer was yahooo!

You are the bravest soul I have met Griffin you ask the right questions and demand the true answers, you know the punchline of the joke before anyone else knows the answer and you laugh from your toes like no one I have ever met. Now I want you to know that everyone loves their babies like I do but you and I have always had a special relationship. Different than Jackson and I not better just different. I feel very blessed to have 2 amazing relationships with my 2 amazing boys. You and I are so alike that we butt heads but we love to laugh and we love to love. You bring me up to a boil and bring me down as fast as I was boiling. You have the most beautiful deep blue eyes that dig right to my heart and soften my heart any time I look into them. You are so bright and artistic that you will live such an amazing full fullfillling life that I can't wait to follow along beside you and watch you jump off bridges and do all kinds of scary things, that you seek out to scare your Mother to life. You are a thrill seeker and the thrills will find you and Daddy and I will be brave and try to let you go and experience the life you want to life but please try to stop growing so fast. Everytime I turn around you get bigger and wiser and make me so proud and I look at you and your brother and I know that my life's dream has come true and without you my life would be nothing of what it is today.

So Griffin Keaney the tender age of 6 you have taught me so much about life and what life is about and that you have to live life freely and with as much fun as possible. I will always love you and no matter what we will face life head on and I will continue to look into those big blue eyes and tell you the truth and alwyas fight to be there to watch you become a man but not to fast as I am enjoying the ride we ride everyday we are blessed to have you in our lives. Oh the love, joy, and life you have brought to this family Griffin Thomas may the legasy be yours tolive and ours to watch from the sideline's..

Love Mommy Jan 8th 2009